If you noticed from my previous post, it just kind of ends. Thats because I accidentally posted it before actually finishing it. Wonderful. One more thing in a list of things that makes me think life, humanity, and existence has all been one big joke that no one gets and even the hip, chic kids that understand the "undergroundness" of its comedy can't laugh at.
Fuck.
I digress.
There are three things that I would like to discuss this go around. First and foremost, let's talk about the Pats. They blew it, there's no way around that one and Patriots fans need to accept it. I unfortunately count myself among you, but I have come to terms with the fact that we just didn't bring our game that day, and that the Giants made the plays when it counted. I mean for fuck's sake, how can you not tackle Eli Manning. The guy looks confused every minute he's on the field.
But hey, they won, good for them and all you Giants fans out there. And I mean GIANTS fans. Not fucking Jets fans that wore a Namath jersey at the Superbowl party that I was at but still rooted for the upset (I know you're probably not reading this, douchebag, and I don't care. After this, I will feel better because it's off my chest, but you sir will ALWAYS be a douchebag fuckface cuntwhore).
If you're a Jet's fan, you don't root for the Giants...PERIOD. I don't care if it's the Giants versus Hitler, Satan, Osama Bin Laden, and Lord Voldemort. If you're a Jets fan, looks like you're into killing Jews, living in Hell, hating freedom, and being so EVIL that you can't even be named.
The Patriots were the most hated team in the NFL this year because for some reason, the pursuit of perfection is something that should be despised instead of honored. What's wrong with this country? Why couldn't people with no vested interest in the game (meaning non-Pats, non-Giants, non-fans of teams that are rivals of the Pats) cheer for a team that is striving for the impossible? The answer is that mediocrity is the name of the game. We are a nation that has settled for doing as little as possible to get by. Hooray for apathy, being average and under-achieving.
Secondly, the film epic "Meet the Spartans" opened at number one at the box office. I really don't have a comment for that, other than to say if you encourage these filmmakers, they will continue to poison our cinemas with this shit.
Finally, I was at a store the other day called Steve and Barry's. For those of you that are unaware of this place, its a discount clothing store where nothing is over 20 bucks. The clothes are chintzy, but hey, for what you're paying it's not that bad (see, even I've succumb to being ok with average).
Anyway, I'm about to head out when I hear the jubilation of a child. There are few things in this despair filled, bleak, hopeless world that can part the clouds and let the sunshine in like the happiness of a child. And this kid was motherfucking Moses with those clouds, he was making them part and the sun was shinning down upon Sarah Jessica's new clothing line. I wondered what was making the kid, which I placed around 5 or 6 years old, so fucking happy. I moved in to investigate.
The kid, a moonfaced child with a head too big for his body and eyes that bulged from their sockets, was standing in front of a rack of WWE t-shirts. And he was in heaven. Couldn't believe that such a thing existed. Yelling over to his mom, he wanted to show her his favorite.
"OH...MY...GAWD!" the boy drawled with southern perfection, "MOM! Take a looook at this wun! It's the BEEEER DRINKIN' CHAMPYUN! STONE...COLD...STEVE...AWESTIN! He's...the BEEEER DRINKIN' CHAMPYUN!"
Taken aback, I figured the mother would reprimand the child, or at least tell him that life isn't a drinking contest and there are more lofty goals to obtain. Instead, what I got was:
"I know hunnnnny! He's soooo great at drinkin' beer! Now thats a REAL champyun right therre!"
And that's the problem with this country. It's not that there are people that flip-flop and want to squash perfection, or people that make shitty movies number one, or people that idolize a skill that most college kids take for granted instead of hard-work, education, and classiness.
No, it's that these people are breeding.
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2 comments:
Steve and Barry's is great. My brother got a leather jacket there during the "Everything Is 8 Dollars Or Less" sale.
"And this kid was motherfucking Moses with those clouds, he was making them part and the sun was shinning down upon Sarah Jessica's new clothing line." well said my friend.
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